About

Bad Astrologer exists because most astrology tells people what they want to hear. A Scorpio's controlling streak becomes "passionate intensity." A Sagittarius who will not commit becomes "a free spirit's need for adventure." A chart that says the relationship is a bin fire becomes "there may be challenges, but with communication and effort, beautiful growth is possible."

This site does not do that. The charts are real. The delivery is not polite.

What you'll find here

Profiles of all twelve signs at their worst. Daily, weekly, monthly, and annual horoscopes that will not make you feel better about yourself. Pairing reports that show where the fights will come from, with a disaster rating and a survival probability.

If you want something built around your actual natal chart, there are personalised readings: daily, weekly, monthly, and annual forecasts from your birth data. Date, time, place. Specific placements. No generic sun-sign fog.

Is this serious?

The astrology is. The manners are not. This is for people who read their horoscope and feel personally attacked. Think of it as a roast with an ephemeris behind it.

If you want the warm, nurturing, "the universe has a plan for you" approach, there are plenty of sites for that.

A note on accuracy

The horoscopes and readings use real planetary positions, calculated from actual ephemeris data. When a reading says Mercury is squaring your natal Saturn this week, it is. The personalised readings cross-reference your birth chart against current transits.

The sign profiles lean into stereotypes and are unfair on purpose. If you recognise yourself, you were warned.